I cry alone, I cry alone
In the wilderness of broken hopes
I know its stupid to cry
But its better than being sly
I don't want to live
I don't want to die
It feels like my life has dried
Loneliness prevailing as my friend
Darkness makes me happy
I’m frightened by the light
Its weird how the circumstances arrange
And the conventional feelings change
Now these pugnacious feelings arouse
I kick on the bed, I punch on my face
Trying to suppress my emotions
By having this physical pain
I lie apart and close my eyes
I try to move astray, imaginations going wild
Then, a tear flows down the narrow lane
Reminding me about that awful pain
I pray to the Almighty to help me out
It gives me hope and sanguinity sprouts
The eyes are numb, the lips are dry
Life gives challenges, but I have to try
--------- P.S. ---------
These words have been spurted out of a disproportionate me
After a long haul of events that happened with me
This attempt to write a poem is the first I've tried
And by the grace of God, its something I liked
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
The Past Few Years
So, I am finally writing another post after a long haul of hibernation. A couple of months back when I wrote a post which included the title of the forthcoming posts, I had thought that I would write all those posts in a matter of a few weeks. But this lazy creature has a habit of procrastinating his tasks. So, if anyone had read the last post and had been waiting for the other posts, I'm sorry for the delay (though, I know no one is reading this blog). I am just wrote the above crap because I felt like writing it. Don't kill me if it irritated you, try to bear with me with the rest of this post. The actual post starts from the next para.
hmm... the past few years... The past few years have been really exciting in my journey of life. There has been a lot of things I did in these years. Had been through great times and some sad moments too. Have a lot to share but there are constraints on how much I could write. Quantifying the word 'few' here - I'm talking about the past 3.5 to 4 years since I started my bachelors degree.
Starting from the professional front. Professionally, I felt like being blessed throughout. I was always there at the right place, at the right time. There have been situations when I thought that I have not achieved what I desired; but eventually everytime I realized what I got was better than what I was aiming for. So, its better to leave situations on God to handle; he would always give you the best.
I have been very active in the co-curricular activities. I got some excellent opportunities to enhance my skills - many positions involving leadership, positions which made my nourish my team skills, interpersonal skills and took my confidence level to new heights.
There was an opportunity which as too good to be true. I was offered to lead a large portal to be launched and promoted by India's biggest media house. But there were reasons that made me decline this offer. First, it was something that was not aligned to my goals. Second, it was kind-of promoting a concept which takes people away from God and make them superstitious.
Something which I really cherish is that I started earning. From the past 1.5 years, I earned a good amount of money by working part-time. I developed an innovative marketing strategy and got some great ROIs. In this case the only investment I had put in was time and my skills. Earning money while studying has been a great experience. I have been able to manage most of my expenses myself. I paid my final year fees, I managed my expenses for applying for masters, a few daily expenses and have also managed to invest a few bucks.
Now coming to the spiritual experiences during this time. I had some great enlightening experiences during this time. I continued my routine of doing 'Japuji Sahib' daily. Added Chaupai Sahib and 5 pauris of Anand Sahib. Occasionally, I did 'Jaap Sahib', 'Rehraas Sahib' and other baanis.
Also, I started reading the english translation of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. It took me quite a lot of time (about a year and a half; maybe more) to complete it. I made my routine to take a 'hukamnama' from the English translation and then read atleast 1-2 pages daily. I also started taking the punjabi hukamnama from Golden Temple with its english translation. Getting the message from SGGS really effected me in a great way. I came to understand more about life and righteous living.
There have been some very subtle changes too in my life(style) during the these past years. One, I am no more a brand freak. There had been times in the past when there was not a single non-branded item in my wardrobe. I donned some of the most expensive and sought after brands. Now, I don't care much about the brands thanks to the people around me. Though, I still have a preference for some of these brands.
Two, I started eating food shared with others (jhoota; don't think there's an english word for it). This is something I still hate to do, but somehow in my current environment its like normal. But still, everytime I do it, its on my mind. Its something I would like to leave again and may be I'll do.
Three, now I sometimes drive very rashly. Earlier, I always used to drive in a very composed manner. But, now sometimes due to lack of time and sometimes for shear fun, I drive very rash. I have tried to control this and have been a bit successful.
There have been many other things which I can't think of now. I really don't know why I wrote all this stuff here. Maybe, the reason is similar to why people write diaries.Perhaps, someday I would come back here to cherish my old memories. Possibly, I may just try to analyze myself and improve. Whatever may be I think, I have somewhat opened up myself as a book. Lets see what comes off my other posts!
hmm... the past few years... The past few years have been really exciting in my journey of life. There has been a lot of things I did in these years. Had been through great times and some sad moments too. Have a lot to share but there are constraints on how much I could write. Quantifying the word 'few' here - I'm talking about the past 3.5 to 4 years since I started my bachelors degree.
Starting from the professional front. Professionally, I felt like being blessed throughout. I was always there at the right place, at the right time. There have been situations when I thought that I have not achieved what I desired; but eventually everytime I realized what I got was better than what I was aiming for. So, its better to leave situations on God to handle; he would always give you the best.
I have been very active in the co-curricular activities. I got some excellent opportunities to enhance my skills - many positions involving leadership, positions which made my nourish my team skills, interpersonal skills and took my confidence level to new heights.
There was an opportunity which as too good to be true. I was offered to lead a large portal to be launched and promoted by India's biggest media house. But there were reasons that made me decline this offer. First, it was something that was not aligned to my goals. Second, it was kind-of promoting a concept which takes people away from God and make them superstitious.
Something which I really cherish is that I started earning. From the past 1.5 years, I earned a good amount of money by working part-time. I developed an innovative marketing strategy and got some great ROIs. In this case the only investment I had put in was time and my skills. Earning money while studying has been a great experience. I have been able to manage most of my expenses myself. I paid my final year fees, I managed my expenses for applying for masters, a few daily expenses and have also managed to invest a few bucks.
Now coming to the spiritual experiences during this time. I had some great enlightening experiences during this time. I continued my routine of doing 'Japuji Sahib' daily. Added Chaupai Sahib and 5 pauris of Anand Sahib. Occasionally, I did 'Jaap Sahib', 'Rehraas Sahib' and other baanis.
Also, I started reading the english translation of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. It took me quite a lot of time (about a year and a half; maybe more) to complete it. I made my routine to take a 'hukamnama' from the English translation and then read atleast 1-2 pages daily. I also started taking the punjabi hukamnama from Golden Temple with its english translation. Getting the message from SGGS really effected me in a great way. I came to understand more about life and righteous living.
There have been some very subtle changes too in my life(style) during the these past years. One, I am no more a brand freak. There had been times in the past when there was not a single non-branded item in my wardrobe. I donned some of the most expensive and sought after brands. Now, I don't care much about the brands thanks to the people around me. Though, I still have a preference for some of these brands.
Two, I started eating food shared with others (jhoota; don't think there's an english word for it). This is something I still hate to do, but somehow in my current environment its like normal. But still, everytime I do it, its on my mind. Its something I would like to leave again and may be I'll do.
Three, now I sometimes drive very rashly. Earlier, I always used to drive in a very composed manner. But, now sometimes due to lack of time and sometimes for shear fun, I drive very rash. I have tried to control this and have been a bit successful.
There have been many other things which I can't think of now. I really don't know why I wrote all this stuff here. Maybe, the reason is similar to why people write diaries.Perhaps, someday I would come back here to cherish my old memories. Possibly, I may just try to analyze myself and improve. Whatever may be I think, I have somewhat opened up myself as a book. Lets see what comes off my other posts!
Friday, January 04, 2008
A Resurrection of this Blog
It has been a very long time since I last posted on this blog. I had somewhat lost interest in posting on this blog, maybe due to the reason that no one was reading it. Somehow, now I have an urge to restart writing on this blog and don't care if someone reads or not. I would be writing for myself to understand the convolutions of this life. Its difficult to understand Its sometimes very baffling to comprehend the nature of events surrounding our lives. I covet to grok my own self and the world around me through this blog.
During this long interval, since I last wrote on this blog, there have been numerous occasions when I wanted to repost on this blog. There are still some posts on the draft section of this blog, which I never completed. I would write in abridge about a few things I wished to post in the past.
A long time back, I was traveling on a bus and was comfortably seated. At midway, an old man boarded the bus, but he couldn't find a seat for himself. Seeing this, a thought ran in my mind and it reminded me of a verse of Gurbaani, which I had read from the English Translation of Sri Guru Granth Sahib, the previous evening. I don't exactly remember the verse, but the essence was that we should always help the poor and needy and work towards humanity. That moment, I courteously got up and offered the old man my seat. This incidence was the first time I conscientiously followed the teaching of the Guru. It felt great and seemed like the Guru himself came and told me what to do at that moment.
I had started writing a post titled 'Hypocrite Mortals'. Everyone around us do have certain hypocrisies and its really difficult to know everything about a person. The hypocrite traits I'm talking about are not necessarily bad ones. People do have good things hidden in themselves which they do not wish to exhibit in this seemingly bad world. Their expressions are precluded by the thoughts of having an unfavorable reaction from the people around them. This is one of the hard realities of this world where people get compelled to hide their goodness from the fear of being treated as insane.
This blog could have also seen a post titled, 'Walking as a Sikh'. Donning a Sikh identity do makes us look different from the people around us, but it also makes us identifiable as a part of the Sikh community. This shoulders an additional responsibility on us as our actions reflect the image of the entire community. Its similar to being a part of any group/organization and how people identify you on the basis of knowing others in the same group. Each Sikh should keep in mind the large group of people he is representing while performing any activity.
There were many more such things, which I wished to post, but was too buzy (or maybe, too lazy) to post them. I do have some posts in my mind which would follow this post in the next few weeks. Most of these posts would be a kinda analysis of a few past events. I am mentioning the titles of these posts to keep myself on track of being regular with this blog:
During this long interval, since I last wrote on this blog, there have been numerous occasions when I wanted to repost on this blog. There are still some posts on the draft section of this blog, which I never completed. I would write in abridge about a few things I wished to post in the past.
A long time back, I was traveling on a bus and was comfortably seated. At midway, an old man boarded the bus, but he couldn't find a seat for himself. Seeing this, a thought ran in my mind and it reminded me of a verse of Gurbaani, which I had read from the English Translation of Sri Guru Granth Sahib, the previous evening. I don't exactly remember the verse, but the essence was that we should always help the poor and needy and work towards humanity. That moment, I courteously got up and offered the old man my seat. This incidence was the first time I conscientiously followed the teaching of the Guru. It felt great and seemed like the Guru himself came and told me what to do at that moment.
I had started writing a post titled 'Hypocrite Mortals'. Everyone around us do have certain hypocrisies and its really difficult to know everything about a person. The hypocrite traits I'm talking about are not necessarily bad ones. People do have good things hidden in themselves which they do not wish to exhibit in this seemingly bad world. Their expressions are precluded by the thoughts of having an unfavorable reaction from the people around them. This is one of the hard realities of this world where people get compelled to hide their goodness from the fear of being treated as insane.
This blog could have also seen a post titled, 'Walking as a Sikh'. Donning a Sikh identity do makes us look different from the people around us, but it also makes us identifiable as a part of the Sikh community. This shoulders an additional responsibility on us as our actions reflect the image of the entire community. Its similar to being a part of any group/organization and how people identify you on the basis of knowing others in the same group. Each Sikh should keep in mind the large group of people he is representing while performing any activity.
There were many more such things, which I wished to post, but was too buzy (or maybe, too lazy) to post them. I do have some posts in my mind which would follow this post in the next few weeks. Most of these posts would be a kinda analysis of a few past events. I am mentioning the titles of these posts to keep myself on track of being regular with this blog:
- The Past Few Years
- Hum Nahi Chan-ge, Bura Nahi Koe
- An Ideal Match
- Laws of Attraction: Part I
- Laws of Attraction: Part II
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Sikh - A Saint Soldier
Sikh Gurus introduced Sikhs as a Saint Soldier. This in turn teaches us the purpose of life. Sikhs should lead their life playing the roles of both the Saints and Soldiers. Here, soldier doesn't really mean that you have to fight in wars, battles or fight with other humans. The Sikh soldiers were, basically, assigned the task to protect humanity and fought for the exploited humans.
The concept of Soldier in a broader prospective could be thought of as a person who fights this battle of life which has been bestowed upon him by the Almighty. It means that a person should be successful in his worldly affairs. He should be a leader wherever he goes. For that, we got a unique identity, which we maintain by keeping our Kesh (hair) and wearing a turban. Sikhs should stand out in the crowd and be a winner in this battle of life.
A Sikh should also be a Saint. He should remember God with every brath of his life. He should always lead a life which should be full of honesty and integrity. He should never harm any other human. A person doesn't becomes a Saint by self-declaration but is considered one by good moral practices, which are expected by every human being.
Thus, a true Gursikh is the one who is 'A Saint Soldier'. He should have both saintly qualities and should be able to defend himself in this battle of life. Now, how can you defend yourself in this battle of life? Surely, by doing good deeds and remembering the name of the Creator Lord, who Himself blesses us the gift of His Name.
The concept of Saint-Soldier was first started by Guru Hargobind Sahib Ji who wore two swords of Miri - n - Piri. Miri is the worldly sword (sword worn by a king, commander etc) and Piri signifies spirituality. The existence of both swords together signifies the importance of the dual roles of a human being in this invaluable gift of life.
Another example which signifies the concept of a Saint-Soldier is the coexistence of both Sri Akal-Takhat Sahib and Sri Harmandir Sahib (Golden Temple) together in the same complex. Harmandir Sahib is the centre of Sikh spirituality, while Akal Takhat Sahib is the temporal throne of the Sikhs. A point worth noting, here, is that when you look at Sri Harmandir Sahib from Sri Akal Takhat Sahib, you can clearly view Harmandir Sahib. While, if you try to view the Akal Takhat from Golden Temple, you won't be able to view it. This signifies that the search for spiritual grace should always lead. When you are trying to remember God you should forget all worldly aspects, but when you are fulfilling your temporal needs always keep the True Lord's Name in your mind. Never ever forget the Name of the One Lord from your mind.
Further, Guru Gobind Singh Ji gave us the title of a Singh. Singh, which literary means a Lion, signifies the the lion as the King of the jungle. It emphasizes that a Singh is born as a King and should be a leader in whatever he does. A Singh should be a role-model for this human race and should always protect the dignity of his fellow humans.
A Sikh should consider God as the supreme commander of this world and always accept His will as the Supreme. Lets pray to Lord that he always helps us to be on the right path and blesses us to always remember His Name.
P.S.: Most thoughts depicted in this article are my own interpretation of the message given by the Gurus. As it is said, to err is human, my interpretation may be a bit incorrect. Your suggestions and criticisms are most welcome.
Please do correct me if I'm wrong. I would appreciate if someone could validate (invalidate too, if they are wrong) these thoughts by referring to Gurbani.
The concept of Soldier in a broader prospective could be thought of as a person who fights this battle of life which has been bestowed upon him by the Almighty. It means that a person should be successful in his worldly affairs. He should be a leader wherever he goes. For that, we got a unique identity, which we maintain by keeping our Kesh (hair) and wearing a turban. Sikhs should stand out in the crowd and be a winner in this battle of life.
A Sikh should also be a Saint. He should remember God with every brath of his life. He should always lead a life which should be full of honesty and integrity. He should never harm any other human. A person doesn't becomes a Saint by self-declaration but is considered one by good moral practices, which are expected by every human being.
Thus, a true Gursikh is the one who is 'A Saint Soldier'. He should have both saintly qualities and should be able to defend himself in this battle of life. Now, how can you defend yourself in this battle of life? Surely, by doing good deeds and remembering the name of the Creator Lord, who Himself blesses us the gift of His Name.
The concept of Saint-Soldier was first started by Guru Hargobind Sahib Ji who wore two swords of Miri - n - Piri. Miri is the worldly sword (sword worn by a king, commander etc) and Piri signifies spirituality. The existence of both swords together signifies the importance of the dual roles of a human being in this invaluable gift of life.
Another example which signifies the concept of a Saint-Soldier is the coexistence of both Sri Akal-Takhat Sahib and Sri Harmandir Sahib (Golden Temple) together in the same complex. Harmandir Sahib is the centre of Sikh spirituality, while Akal Takhat Sahib is the temporal throne of the Sikhs. A point worth noting, here, is that when you look at Sri Harmandir Sahib from Sri Akal Takhat Sahib, you can clearly view Harmandir Sahib. While, if you try to view the Akal Takhat from Golden Temple, you won't be able to view it. This signifies that the search for spiritual grace should always lead. When you are trying to remember God you should forget all worldly aspects, but when you are fulfilling your temporal needs always keep the True Lord's Name in your mind. Never ever forget the Name of the One Lord from your mind.
Further, Guru Gobind Singh Ji gave us the title of a Singh. Singh, which literary means a Lion, signifies the the lion as the King of the jungle. It emphasizes that a Singh is born as a King and should be a leader in whatever he does. A Singh should be a role-model for this human race and should always protect the dignity of his fellow humans.
A Sikh should consider God as the supreme commander of this world and always accept His will as the Supreme. Lets pray to Lord that he always helps us to be on the right path and blesses us to always remember His Name.
P.S.: Most thoughts depicted in this article are my own interpretation of the message given by the Gurus. As it is said, to err is human, my interpretation may be a bit incorrect. Your suggestions and criticisms are most welcome.
Please do correct me if I'm wrong. I would appreciate if someone could validate (invalidate too, if they are wrong) these thoughts by referring to Gurbani.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Meditate on the Lord
GAUREE, FIFTH MEHL:
Those who have You on their side, O All-powerful Lord — no black stain can stick to them. || 1 ||
O Lord of wealth, those who place their hopes in You — nothing of the world can touch them at all. || 1 || Pause ||
Those whose hearts are filled with their Lord and Master — no anxiety can affect them. || 2 ||
Those, unto whom You give Your consolation, God — pain does not even approach them. || 3 ||
Says Nanak, I have found that Guru, who has shown me the Perfect, Supreme Lord God. || 4 || 41 || 110 ||
SGGS - pg 188
So, meditate on the Lord 24x7 and you will find your self away from all troubles and anxiety.
Those who have You on their side, O All-powerful Lord — no black stain can stick to them. || 1 ||
O Lord of wealth, those who place their hopes in You — nothing of the world can touch them at all. || 1 || Pause ||
Those whose hearts are filled with their Lord and Master — no anxiety can affect them. || 2 ||
Those, unto whom You give Your consolation, God — pain does not even approach them. || 3 ||
Says Nanak, I have found that Guru, who has shown me the Perfect, Supreme Lord God. || 4 || 41 || 110 ||
SGGS - pg 188
So, meditate on the Lord 24x7 and you will find your self away from all troubles and anxiety.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Power of Meditating on the Lord's Name
bYrwVI mhlw 4 ] (720-6)
bairaarhee mehlaa 4.
Bairaaree, Fourth Mehl:
jip mn hir inrMjnu inrMkwrw ] (720-7, bYrwVI, mÚ 4)
jap man har niranjan nirankaaraa.
Meditate, O mind, on the immaculate, formless Lord.
sdw sdw hir iDAweIAY suKdwqw jw kw AMqu n pwrwvwrw ]1] rhwau ] (720-7, bYrwVI, mÚ 4)
sadaa sadaa har Dhi-aa-ee-ai sukh-daata jaa kaa ant na paaraavaaraa. ||1|| rahaa-o.
Forever and ever, meditate on the Lord, the Giver of peace; He has no end or limitation. ||1||Pause||
Agin kuMt mih aurD ilv lwgw hir rwKY audr mMJwrw ] (720-8, bYrwVI, mÚ 4)
agan kunt meh uraDh liv laagaa har raakhai udar manjhaaraa.
In the fiery pit of the womb, when you were hanging upside-down, the Lord absorbed You in His Love, and preserved You.
so AYsw hir syvhu myry mn hir AMiq Cfwvxhwrw ]1] (720-8, bYrwVI, mÚ 4)
so aisaa har sayvhu mayray man har ant chhadaavanhaaraa. ||1||
So serve such a Lord, O my mind; the Lord shall deliver you in the end. ||1||
jw kY ihrdY bisAw myrw hir hir iqsu jn kau krhu nmskwrw ] (720-9, bYrwVI, mÚ 4)
jaa kai hirdai basi-aa mayraa har har tis jan ka-o karahu namaskaaraa.
Bow down in reverence to that humble being, within whose heart the Lord, Har, Har, abides.
hir ikrpw qy pweIAY hir jpu nwnk nwmu ADwrw ]2]5] (720-10, bYrwVI, mÚ 4)
har kirpaa tay paa-ee-ai har jap naanak naam aDhaaraa. ||2||5||
By the Lord's Kind Mercy, O Nanak, one obtains the Lord's meditation, and the support of the Naam. ||2||5||
bYrwVI mhlw 4 ] (720-10)
bairaarhee mehlaa 4.
Bairaaree, Fourth Mehl:
jip mn hir hir nwmu inq iDAwie ] (720-11, bYrwVI, mÚ 4)
jap man har har naam nit Dhi-aa-ay.
O my mind, chant the Name of the Lord, Har, Har; meditate on it continually.
jo ieCih soeI Plu pwvih iPir dUKu n lwgY Awie ]1] rhwau ] (720-11, bYrwVI, mÚ 4)
jo ichheh so-ee fal paavahi fir dookh na laagai aa-ay. ||1|| rahaa-o.
You shall obtain the fruits of your heart's desires, and pain shall never touch you again. ||1||Pause||
so jpu so qpu sw bRq pUjw ijqu hir isau pRIiq lgwie ] (720-12, bYrwVI, mÚ 4)
so jap so tap saa barat poojaa jit har si-o pareet lagaa-ay.
That is chanting, that is deep meditation and austerity, that is fasting and worship, which inspires love for the Lord.
ibnu hir pRIiq hor pRIiq sB JUTI iek iKn mih ibsir sB jwie ]1] (720-12, bYrwVI, mÚ 4)
bin har pareet hor pareet sabh jhoothee ik khin meh bisar sabh jaa-ay. ||1||
Without the Lord's Love, every other love is false; in an instant, it is all forgotten. ||1||
qU byAMqu srb kl pUrw ikCu kImiq khI n jwie ] (720-13, bYrwVI, mÚ 4)
too bay-ant sarab kal pooraa kichh keemat kahee na jaa-ay.
You are infinite, the Master of all power; Your value cannot be described at all.
nwnk srix qum@wrI hir jIau BwvY iqvY Cfwie ]2]6] (720-14, bYrwVI, mÚ 4)
naanak saran tumHaaree har jee-o bhaavai tivai chhadaa-ay. ||2||6||
Nanak has come to Your Sanctuary, O Dear Lord; as it pleases You, save him. ||2||6||
rwgu bYrwVI mhlw 5 Gru 1 (720-15)
raag bairaarhee mehlaa 5 ghar 1
Raag Bairaaree, Fifth Mehl, First House:
<> siqgur pRswid ] (720-15)
ik-oNkaar satgur parsaad.
One Universal Creator God. By The Grace Of The True Guru:
sMq jnw imil hir jsu gwieE ] (720-16, bYrwVI, mÚ 5)
sant janaa mil har jas gaa-i-o.
Meeting with the humble Saints, sing the Praises of the Lord.
koit jnm ky dUK gvwieE ]1] rhwau ] (720-16, bYrwVI, mÚ 5)
kot janam kay dookh gavaa-i-o. ||1|| rahaa-o.
The pains of millions of incarnations shall be eradicated. ||1||Pause||
jo cwhq soeI min pwieE ] (720-16, bYrwVI, mÚ 5)
jo chaahat so-ee man paa-i-o.
Whatever your mind desires, that you shall obtain.
kir ikrpw hir nwmu idvwieE ]1] (720-17, bYrwVI, mÚ 5)
kar kirpaa har naam divaa-i-o. ||1||
By His Kind Mercy, the Lord blesses us with His Name. ||1||
srb sUK hir nwim vfweI ] (720-17, bYrwVI, mÚ 5)
sarab sookh har naam vadaa-ee.
All happiness and greatness are in the Lord's Name.
gur pRswid nwnk miq pweI ]2]1]7] (720-17, bYrwVI, mÚ 5)
gur parsaad naanak mat paa-ee. ||2||1||7||
By Guru's Grace, Nanak has gained this understanding. ||2||1||7||
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